Weariness

Do you ever feel like time just keeps passing on you? I've had that feeling lately...hours, weeks, and days go by, relatively full, but in ways difficult to quantify, so I feel my life is in more or less the same place it was a month ago, whatever that means. At the same time, I'm feeling a bit down with weariness...it's not that I'm tired, but rather weary with the concerns which have occupied me that won't quite go away. Today, for example, I went into work a noon, worked until 5 with only a one-hour break, then drove home and have been working ever since.

That's more or less 9 hours on a Sunday after I put in about 4 hours yesterday afternoon before reading a school-related book through much of the World Series game, and the usual 8-10 or whatever for the past week. In a sense I don't mind this...I plan to read just a bit more this evening, and none of the work has been that challenging. But it's all just writing a bit more of the Title VI-A grant, reading through another book for my dissertation, and going through another 10 pages of Arabic which resulted in little more than some more new vocabulary. And each day to come looks like more of the same.

This sounds like a complaint, but it's really not that. It's more a meditation. I remember, too, how in my latter years at QU and some previous years of graduate school I have worked even longer hours and taken it as normal, and wonder if my present inability to muster more energy that is a sign of being somehow "out of shape," early stages of burn-out, or what. Part of me wishes I had taken Saturday completely off, but then I would have just had a bit more work in front of me to worry about.

This post meanders. But then, so does my mood. Perhaps another chapter or so, then I'm crashing for the night.