Faculty-Student Sex
This is the topic under discussion here, here, here, here and here. Frankly I'm surprised this idea is so controversial. Sleeping with one's students seems like such a prelude to colossal disaster that that I can never quite believe reports of it, even though I myself am 90% sure I've seen at least one case. There are also two Quincy University professors that married students, one right before I got there and one after I left. When I think of myself in that position, I can never quite get my mind around it - I simply can't see students in my class as anything other than my students, and I think I'm better off that way. I can socialize with them in my office, or if by chance I see them at a hockey game or something talk to them, but that's about it. I feel I have a duty to my students as a teacher - already a kind of personal relationship - and I have no place bringing other agendas.
That said, there are probably fringes of this issue where it becomes interesting. Students in my class are definitely out. By extension, I'd say students in the department are, as well - the entire notion just seems wrong to me for reasons I can't quite articulate. I guess my self-image is as someone developing into the consummate professional, and that just sort of interferes. However, at a school the size of UW, extending that to the entire undergraduate student body seems extreme. When I first came to campus, I was 22, and when I first taught, 23. If I were to take up with, say, a chemistry major, would it matter at all? True, at some point she would have to take a history class, but assuming the relationship worked in a healthy manner, it should be possible for us to arrange to simply not conflict with each other. Then there are forums like language classes where you find both graduate students and undergraduates - do I limit my social circle on the basis of people's course level? The notion seems preposterous. Admittedly, though, as I get older this seems like less and less of a relevant issue. In quiz bowl, for example, where I continue to hang around as a sort of organizational assistant, I did not look upon the freshman girls this year with the same level of interest as when I first arrived - at some point age gaps do start to show themselves.
I haven't thought my way through what sort of policies universities should adopt on this, if any. The need to defend against lawsuits is, of course, legitimate, but realistic policies seem difficult to write. One semester I became a lecturer, which gave me the classification of part-time faculty. Had I been dating another grad student, would I under the most draconian codes have been required to break it off for a few months? With the issues usually cited against faculty/student relationships, would such artificial non-dating even be meaningful? I mean, relationships are much harder to regulate than actions. Since I'm a rather chaste kind of guy, a ban on sex wouldn't impact me in the slightest, and from a legal standpoint who's is to decide if a "friendship" is really something more? At the other end of the spectrum, let's say the hypothetical undergraduate chemistry major met one of my students whom she also liked and was trying to decide between us. If the two have something planned for a weekend I'm inclined to give a large assignment, do I open myself to career-threatening evaluation comments by giving it, or hurt the class by holding off?
The mere fact someone would have to think about that shows the problems that can arise in these sorts of situations that are difficult to catch under anything but a draconian policy. The best thing to do is simply to use common sense and a dose of caution. If you and a student really do become desparate for each other, at the very least wait until he/she is no longer your student. Other than that, everyone will presumably find their own set of guidelines articulated or otherwise based on the experiences they've had and their knowledge of individual people and situations. Hopefully their emotional intelligence will be enough to keep them out of trouble.
That said, there are probably fringes of this issue where it becomes interesting. Students in my class are definitely out. By extension, I'd say students in the department are, as well - the entire notion just seems wrong to me for reasons I can't quite articulate. I guess my self-image is as someone developing into the consummate professional, and that just sort of interferes. However, at a school the size of UW, extending that to the entire undergraduate student body seems extreme. When I first came to campus, I was 22, and when I first taught, 23. If I were to take up with, say, a chemistry major, would it matter at all? True, at some point she would have to take a history class, but assuming the relationship worked in a healthy manner, it should be possible for us to arrange to simply not conflict with each other. Then there are forums like language classes where you find both graduate students and undergraduates - do I limit my social circle on the basis of people's course level? The notion seems preposterous. Admittedly, though, as I get older this seems like less and less of a relevant issue. In quiz bowl, for example, where I continue to hang around as a sort of organizational assistant, I did not look upon the freshman girls this year with the same level of interest as when I first arrived - at some point age gaps do start to show themselves.
I haven't thought my way through what sort of policies universities should adopt on this, if any. The need to defend against lawsuits is, of course, legitimate, but realistic policies seem difficult to write. One semester I became a lecturer, which gave me the classification of part-time faculty. Had I been dating another grad student, would I under the most draconian codes have been required to break it off for a few months? With the issues usually cited against faculty/student relationships, would such artificial non-dating even be meaningful? I mean, relationships are much harder to regulate than actions. Since I'm a rather chaste kind of guy, a ban on sex wouldn't impact me in the slightest, and from a legal standpoint who's is to decide if a "friendship" is really something more? At the other end of the spectrum, let's say the hypothetical undergraduate chemistry major met one of my students whom she also liked and was trying to decide between us. If the two have something planned for a weekend I'm inclined to give a large assignment, do I open myself to career-threatening evaluation comments by giving it, or hurt the class by holding off?
The mere fact someone would have to think about that shows the problems that can arise in these sorts of situations that are difficult to catch under anything but a draconian policy. The best thing to do is simply to use common sense and a dose of caution. If you and a student really do become desparate for each other, at the very least wait until he/she is no longer your student. Other than that, everyone will presumably find their own set of guidelines articulated or otherwise based on the experiences they've had and their knowledge of individual people and situations. Hopefully their emotional intelligence will be enough to keep them out of trouble.
posted by Brian Ulrich at
12:07 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home