I'm feeling kind of tired right now after I lay awake much of last night wondering if I should buy Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. OK, let me explain: There's an undercurrent of stress in my life right now as the state socks it to us on health care costs, and I don't know for sure what percentage my PA-ship will be starting July 1. I was going to buy the book eventually, but psychologically dislike buying books for hardback prices when I can buy them later for much cheaper in paperback. Money itself isn't really the issue - realistically, even according to my worst-case scenario, I could afford to buy a used car next year if I wanted to. But the uncertainty of it all has come to focus on this potential book purchase, helped along by the fact that the last two times I bought a book for myself on something of a whim I regretted it.

This morning, however, it suddenly seemed so obvious I should just go splurge. It occurred to me what would do me the most good right now is to let loose and spring for something that would allow me to escape for a bit to a place like Hogwarts. I haven't spent any money on myself aside from the occasional movie, eating out, or Beowulf performance since January. And this book is really long, so the paperback would fall apart anyway. If I feel too guilty, I can make it up to myself by not eating out sometime, or more fruitfully not buying a coffee every day at work for a week, which I've for some reason started doing. Hence, I'm now placing my order at Amazon, along with a CD I've wanted. Not only that, but when it comes, I'm actually going to take a day off from my dissertation to read it! Hopefully the state will pass a budget and the university will make their funding decisions, thus allowing me a firm grasp of how much money I'll make and my bills so I can stop subconsciously fretting over it.

Incidentally, intellectual blogging may be light over the next few days as I expend energy elsewhere. I'll try to toss out some stuff, though.